Why I, as an ISTJ, want to be with an ESFP

A relationship with an ISFJ would be a stable one, but that is not what I value the most. I am more interested in someone who challenges me; Someone who pushes me to grow in a way I probably would not if they never pushed me; Someone who will cause me to take a different path in life than I would otherwise have taken, and someone who I can cause to take a different path in life if they weren't with me. This is why I want an ESFP or maybe an ESTP.

We could say, that perceiving functions focus on what and judging functions focus on the how. For example an ISTJ would use Si to identify he is hungry, and he would use Te to decide he needs to eat spaghetti.

ESxPs and ISxJ with be traveling to different places in life.
ESFPs take the path to the right leading to a playground and I take the path to the left leading to a garden and the paths lead to different places. I like playgrounds some of the time, prefer gardens, and ESFPs enjoy gardens some of the time, but prefer playgrounds. If an ISxJ and an ESxP decide to travel together, they will have to comprise the where they wish to go. So basically ISTJs make the focus of life work, and ESFPS make the focus of life play. When two people with different focuses in life learn to widen there focus, the result is to make each person more rounded and able to handle different situations in life.

In the example of the ESFP and ISTJ, both would be able to see the value all diverging areas of focus if they spend their marriage learning from each other. The specific example is work and play, but this isn't the only way the two would improve.

If I, as an ISTJ, was to marry another ISTJ or an ISFJ, I would be able to grow less as a person because the ISxJs are going to be going to the same place (carrying on with my earlier metaphor). ISTJs ans ISFJ are both heading towards a garden, they just have different ways of getting there and they have preferences for different gardens. Te and Fe are the different paths and the different gardens. Both draw similar conclusions about life and will have similar goals, but their methods of arriving at those conclusions and their methods of reaching those goals with be different. So any compromises between an ISFJ and ISTJ would not cause either to go to a park some of the time and a garden at others, but a compromise would involve taking turns going to different gardens.

When faces a problem, the Te user's approach will be different than the Fe users approach. If the Te and Fe play strong roles in roles in a person's personality, a union of two such individuals is likely to cause arguing or one person dominating the other.
3 young nieces of mine. live with me. My approach to raising them is different than the approach of my sister, the mother. We are both strong Te/ Fe users, so our convictions about our approaches is very firm. Because of the firmness, it has caused arguing.

When approaches differ in marriage one partner must accept the others's solution. Solutions will work the best when they are mutually agreed upon. Some who enjoys making decisions is better off with someone who enjoys accepting decisions. Js go with Ps. J  to J will cause fighting and P to P with result in a shortage of decisions and solutions.
 There are some hole in my metaphor. Maybe a better example would be you cut two papers in half with a zig zag cut. There will be two paper halfs that are identical but they won't fit together naturally.